We are trained as parenting coordinators (PC). In this role, we help co-parents who are still in conflict make decisions and learn skills in how to work together for the best interest of their children. The PC can assist in the implementation of the parenting plan and can help the parties understand the needs of the children, so the children can thrive in a home without stress caused by parents who are in high conflict.
Parties agree by COURT ORDER or by contract to consult with the parenting coordinator who has the authority to speak to the parties, the child(ren), counselors and others familiar with the dispute. Then, depending on the scope of the authority of the order or contract, the parenting coordinator can make decisions so parties break an impasse and move on with their lives and with their parenting responsibilities.
Most issues heard by the parenting coordinator are not issues that justify the cost and delay inherent in court proceedings. Yet, they are issues which cause tension and stress to families. By having the parenting coordinator available, parties can resolve disputes and learn how to make decisions in parallel parenting.
Parenting Coordination FAQ
Parents who have conflict and tension and cannot communicate, or cannot make decisions pertaining to their children can benefit from a parenting coordinator. Parties hire a parenting coordinator to:
- de-escalate parental conflict to which the children are exposed
- focus on their child(ren)’s needs and best interests
- promote their child(ren)’s optimum adjustment;
- resolve issues and disputes in a timely and cost-efficient manner without litigation;
- coach parties on better ways to communicate about the children.
The court may order the parties to use a parenting coordinator or the parties may agree by contract to do so. Parties requesting parenting coordination may contact us at info@tollaksonlaw.com
Examples of issues the parenting coordinator may help resolve include:
- Dates, time, designated person, location, and method of pick up and delivery;
- Reorganization of school vacation and/or holiday time resulting in increases/ decreases of one week or less.
- Modification of schedule by not more than four nights per month including, but not limited to, modifications when developmentally appropriate for children under the age of six.
- Care providers for child(ren)
- Child rearing disputes such as bedtime, diet, clothing, homework, and discipline.
- Scheduling disputes arising from afterschool, enrichment, athletic, and other activities.
- After school and enrichment activities
- Health care management
- Participation of others in the child’s time with each parent (significant others, relatives, etc.)
- Resolving conflict over money owed between co-parents for children’s expenses
- Religious observances and education
- Haircuts, body piercings, tattoos.
- Any other issues agreed to by the parties or the Court.
No, the parenting coordinator may not make custody changes.
The parenting coordinator can make recommendations to the parties or the court, or they may formally make decisions or break impasse, if the parties or the court agree. All powers of the parenting coordinator are spelled out in the order or contract.
The parties typically share in the cost of parenting coordination however the PC can determine a different allocation of fees if it is appropriate under the circumstances of the family. A retainer from each party is required. Rates for parenting coordination vary.
No, the guardian ad litem actually REPRESENTS the child’s best interest in court. The PC helps the ENTIRE FAMILY resolve conflict and implement healthy parenting. Although trained as an attorney, the PC does not render legal advice.
The order or contract specifies the format for registering the disagreement with the parenting coordinator.
Yes. Unlike the mediator, the PC may testify in court about matters that take place in parenting coordination sessions. However, the PC is not meant to be a “trap” or “set up” to try to win a custody modification. The role is meant for families who want to heal and resolve conflict.
As hard as divorce is, I can't imagine handling it any other way. The last thing I wanted to do was to go to court. To this day, my ex-husband and I have a very respectable relationship, and we both give 100% of the credit to working with Ashley and the Collaborative Law process.
Tiffany
Ashley helped me during a tragic loss in my life. The loss of my marriage. She helped me understand my choices and gave me time to reconcile my heart. She did a wonderful job in helping me to understand the law but also thinking through the consequences of my actions and the emotional and financial impact. Ashley is one of the strongest people I know. She knows how to hold you in your suffering while protecting you. She never shared more than was needed to ease my burden but had the situation under control during the whole process. I will forever be thankful for her steady and loving hand.
Jennifer B.
I thoroughly enjoyed working with Ashley. She listens and genuinely cares about her clients; and is willing to go to bat for whatever is needed. She very successfully assisted me with an agreement that has provided me peace of mind, flexibility and most importantly; protection for my family. She's very organized and really took the time to explain the process to me, in addition to providing documentation and answers to any questions along the way.
Gwen P.
The services I have received from Ashley Tollakson and all with Tollakson Law have been stellar. The experience in dealing with difficult situations shines through in the results achieved. I recommend this group of experts for anyone needing representation with family law matters.
John M.
I highly recommend Ashley, Guardian Ad Litem! Finding a good Guardian Ad Litem to help you successfully navigate Family court is very, very difficult. I am a single, African/American male and I had an unusually complicated child custody case. Bottom line, family court can be very scary and unpredictable. I met with Ashley at her office. Ashley spent about an hour really listening to me explain my situation, answering my questions and offering advice on how we should move forward. I took my daughter to Ashley’s office. Ashley spoke to my daughter (without me). When it was over—they both came out of the office with big smiles. During the hearing, Ashley represented my daughter well! She communicated with my daughter, wrote an excellent letter of recommendation, and spoke highly of my daughter to the judge. She addressed our concerns clearly and compassionately. She explained my daughter’s foundation, current family life and future goals and potential. Child custody can be very stressful, frustrating and scary. shley had our best interest in mind—as a person and as a client. Throughout the entire process Ashley did everything she could to make sure our outcome could be as successful as possible. Thank you Ashley keeping our family together.
Ricky