As an unbiased third-party mediator, we facilitate a respectful discussion between you and the other party to find a mutually satisfying resolution to your dispute. Both parties are encouraged to speak openly about the fears and concerns they have, unlike in court where the judge only hears evidence as it is skillfully presented by trained lawyers. Mediation can give your family a positive shared outcome, without the emotional and financial cost of a lawsuit.
We have mediated thousands of cases in matters large and small. Examples of disputes we have mediated include: divorce, property distribution, custody issues, alimony, child support, sale of the marital home, disagreements between parents about child rearing issues, disputes on interpretation of the legal Decree, visitation problems, lack of communication between parents, disputes involving partners, co-habitation, disputes between businesses, and families dealing with elderly parents.
Mediation FAQ
Although we are experienced attorneys, our mediators do not act like a judge making a decision for the parties about how to resolve their differences. Instead, we lead the discussion making sure all issues are discussed thoroughly and helps the parties to understand each others’ positions. We are “in favor of” BOTH parties and our goal is to help the parties come to a resolution that works for both of them. The mediator helps the parties explore possible solutions and may offer ideas for discussion.
We are experienced attorneys serving as mediators. We lead the discussion making sure all issues are discussed thoroughly and help the parties to understand each others’ positions. We are “in favor of” BOTH parties and our goal is to help the parties come to a resolution that works for both. We will help the parties explore possible solutions and may offer ideas for discussion.
A good mediator not only helps the parties see things from the other person’s vantage point, she can help the parties consider issues and consequences they may have overlooked. The mediator may review ideas or possible outcomes with the parties to help them determine if the solutions are really workable. However, it is the parties, not the mediator, who have control over whether they agree to a settlement or not because the parties walk away with a clearer understanding of their differences and expectations.
Parties may come to mediation with or without their attorney. If they come with their attorney, they need to rely on their attorney for legal advice. If they come without an attorney they need to realize that the mediator can give them legal information but we cannot provide legal advice. The parties can agree to a resolution of their differences with the mediator and then take their agreement to an attorney to review and to draft the legal documents. Due to ethical restraints placed on lawyers in Iowa acting as mediators, the mediator cannot serve as a mediator and then serve as a lawyer to the parties filing documents on their behalf.
If your matter is not resolved you can still go to court. Because the process is confidential, the mediator does not testify as to what went on in the mediation. We may, however, tell the judge that you had a final agreement if one is reached at the mediation and if one of the parties tries to back out of a signed agreement. Many feel that a mediation session has great value whether an agreement is reached or not, because parties walk away with a clearer understanding of their differences and expectations.
Parties in a mediation can speak like normal people about the fears and concerns they have about the issues in conflict. Unlike court where the judge only hears evidence as it is skillfully presented by trained lawyers, in a mediation we just discuss problems like “regular people”. We may have the parties meet together or in separate private sessions, based on their comfort level.
Parties pay for mediation at the conclusion of the session. If the case is a family law case in Polk County, there may also be administrative fees applied by the District Court Mediation program. The fees are each paid 1/2 by each party, unless the parties agree otherwise.
Mediations can last a few hours or for a full day or days. They can be in single or multiple sessions. The average mediation lasts about 3-4 hours. For divorce, when the parties are not attending with an attorney, The Mediator may schedule 2-hour sessions one or two weeks apart until the parties have achieved settlement or conclude maximum benefit has been reached.
As hard as divorce is, I can't imagine handling it any other way. The last thing I wanted to do was to go to court. To this day, my ex-husband and I have a very respectable relationship, and we both give 100% of the credit to working with Ashley and the Collaborative Law process.
Tiffany
Ashley helped me during a tragic loss in my life. The loss of my marriage. She helped me understand my choices and gave me time to reconcile my heart. She did a wonderful job in helping me to understand the law but also thinking through the consequences of my actions and the emotional and financial impact. Ashley is one of the strongest people I know. She knows how to hold you in your suffering while protecting you. She never shared more than was needed to ease my burden but had the situation under control during the whole process. I will forever be thankful for her steady and loving hand.
Jennifer B.
I thoroughly enjoyed working with Ashley. She listens and genuinely cares about her clients; and is willing to go to bat for whatever is needed. She very successfully assisted me with an agreement that has provided me peace of mind, flexibility and most importantly; protection for my family. She's very organized and really took the time to explain the process to me, in addition to providing documentation and answers to any questions along the way.
Gwen P.
The services I have received from Ashley Tollakson and all with Tollakson Law have been stellar. The experience in dealing with difficult situations shines through in the results achieved. I recommend this group of experts for anyone needing representation with family law matters.
John M.
I highly recommend Ashley, Guardian Ad Litem! Finding a good Guardian Ad Litem to help you successfully navigate Family court is very, very difficult. I am a single, African/American male and I had an unusually complicated child custody case. Bottom line, family court can be very scary and unpredictable. I met with Ashley at her office. Ashley spent about an hour really listening to me explain my situation, answering my questions and offering advice on how we should move forward. I took my daughter to Ashley’s office. Ashley spoke to my daughter (without me). When it was over—they both came out of the office with big smiles. During the hearing, Ashley represented my daughter well! She communicated with my daughter, wrote an excellent letter of recommendation, and spoke highly of my daughter to the judge. She addressed our concerns clearly and compassionately. She explained my daughter’s foundation, current family life and future goals and potential. Child custody can be very stressful, frustrating and scary. shley had our best interest in mind—as a person and as a client. Throughout the entire process Ashley did everything she could to make sure our outcome could be as successful as possible. Thank you Ashley keeping our family together.
Ricky